THE WEDNESDAY WOOF; JUNE 24, 2015*

WHO'S MORE FUN THAN PEOPLE?

CONNECTICUT COUPLE KEPT OUT OF STAMFORD HOME FOR HOURS BY AGGRESSIVE 7.5 POUND CAT.


A Connecticut man and his wife were kept out of their home by their 7.5 pound cat for hours after it gave birth and became aggressive. The ferocious feline forced Mohammed Lokman to make a 1 a.m. 911 call from his Stamford driveway as the couple waited out the raging fur ball.

“I have a problem in my home,” Lokman said in a 911 recording “I cannot go inside my home.” His  cat was getting too aggressive.
“I was inside and she attacked me, and she scratched my leg and bit me."

DOG ASKS, "AND YOU WONDER WHY I DON'T LIKE CATS!"

A MASSACHUSETTS TRANSIT RIDER FAILED TO PAY THE FARE. TRANSIT POLICE LATER FOUND HE HAD $7,000 IN CASH ON HIM.

TIM CHAPMAN

Police stopped him for the free ride and found there was an arrest warrant out for the 35-year-old for motor vehicle violations. He was taken into custody and officers found the money.

"Yes, that's correct, he evaded a $2.10 fare while in possession of nearly $7,000. Hmmmmmmm,"

DOG SAYS, "PERHAPS HE DIDN'T HAVE THE CORRECT CHANGE."

AN 84 YR OLD ARIZONA MAN STUNG BY BEES MORE THAN 2,000 TIMES. 

An elderly man in Oro Valley, Arizona is in intensive care after he was stung more than 2,000 times by a swarm of bees.  The man, 84, was attacked by angry bees that had built a hive in his shed. There were more than 50,000 of them in the hive.  "The bees just do their thing until someone sets them off. So we don't know what this gentleman did to set them off," someone said.

DOG SINGS, "LET ME TELL YOU 'BOUT THE BIRDS AND THE BEES...." 

A BAY AREA MATH TEACHER REPORTEDLY ASKS STUDENTS TO SNAP SELFIES WITH PARENTS' SEX TOYS.

A Bay Area teacher is in hot water for a risqué homework assignment that reportedly asked students to take selfies with their parents' sex toys. The teacher’s extra-credit assignment requested that students search through their parents dresser drawers for sex toys or anything provocative and snap a selfie of themselves. Because of the allegations, the teacher was placed on leave.

DOG SAYS, "MY FRIENDS AND I NEVER BOTHER WITH SEX TOYS. WE JUST DO IT WITH THE LADY DOGS WHENEVER WE'RE OFF-LEASH."




SPANISH MATADOR SUFFERS TESTICLE 'EVISCERATION' FROM HORN DURING BULLFIGHT. 

OH BALLS!

The crowd watched in shock as the bullfighter was tossed into the air and the animal's pointed horn thrust through his scrotum.

He was dragged along before plummeting to the ground. He was forced to quit the event after doctors diagnosed him as having suffered "a bull horn wound in the scrotum which caused bruising and evisceration of the left testicle."

DOG HOLLERS, "PLAY WITH THE BULL, YOU GET THE HORNS!"